You want a ceremony that sounds like you, not like it got copy-pasted from the internet circa 2009. Good. Because the best weddings feel personal, a little unhinged (in a good way), and honestly?
Fun. If your love story includes memes, inside jokes, and chaotic energy, your script should, too. Let’s build a ceremony that gets laughs, happy tears, and zero eye-rolls.
Set the Tone Early: A Playful Welcome
A great ceremony opens with a wink.
Your officiant can signal “this will be fun” from the start without turning it into a roast. Aim for warm, witty, and short.
- Sample line: “Welcome, friends, family, and the handful of you who are here for the open bar. We’re gathered to watch two people voluntarily sign up to share snacks and streaming passwords for life.”
- Optional aside: “Please silence your phones unless you plan to live-tweet this, in which case tag your officiant.”
Quick House Rules That Get a Laugh
- “If you brought confetti, amazing.
If it’s glitter, you’re banned from the reception.”
- “Crying is allowed. Ugly crying is encouraged.”
The “How We Met” Bit… But Make It Comedy
Your origin story doesn’t need a TED Talk. Keep it punchy, add a joke, and let the sentiment sneak up on people.
- Sample story arc: “They met on a dating app.
She swiped right for the dog. He swiped right for the pizza in her photo. The algorithm made one good decision.”
- Playful detail: Mention the chaotic first date, the accidental matching outfits, or the moment one of you realized ‘oh no, I think I like them.’
Funny-but-Sweet Officiant Cue
“From their first date, they discovered a deep connection: an ability to finish each other’s sentences and fries.
Mostly fries.”
Vows With Personality (Instead of Snoozes)
You can write vows that are funny and still hit the feels. Think 60% heartfelt, 40% humor—IMO, that’s the sweet spot.
- Short vow recipe:
- One quick joke that shows your dynamic
- One promise that’s oddly specific and adorable
- One line that makes everyone say “awww”
Vow Examples You Can Steal
- “I promise to love you when you’re hangry, and to carry emergency snacks like a responsible adult.”
- “I vow to never watch the next episode without you, unless you fall asleep. Then all bets are off.”
- “You’re my favorite person, my best friend, and my forever brunch date.”
Pro tip: Cap your vows at 60–90 seconds.
Anything longer feels like a book reading.
10 Funny Script Ideas You Can Plug In
Use these as add-ins throughout the ceremony. Pick 3–5 so it doesn’t turn into stand-up night.
- The “Audience Participation” Moment: Ask guests to say “We do!” when the officiant asks if they promise to support the couple. Cue chaotic chorus = instant energy.
- Ring Security Bit: Have a kid or friend walk in wearing “Ring Security” sunglasses.
Officiant: “We’ve secured the goods.”
- Mini Roast (Affectionate): One line each. “He’s on time for everything.” “She’s on time… adjacent.” End with, “They still chose each other.”
- Pet Cameo: If your pet delivers the rings, the officiant can say, “Today’s special guest star: the real reason they stayed together.”
- “We Practice Consent” Kiss Cue: “By the power vested in me by the State of [Your State] and the vibes, you may now kiss—if you both want to.”
- One Unexpected Reading: A dramatic reading of a text exchange from your early days. Keep it sweet and PG-13, FYI.
- Inside-Joke Moment: Insert a phrase only your people will get. “May your coffee be strong, your Wi-Fi stronger, and your Mario Kart battles fair.”
- Unity Ceremony With a Twist: Mix your favorite snacks into a “trail mix of life” or pour two beers into one glass. “Behold, the IPA of eternity.”
- “We Met Online” Shout-Out: “Like all great love stories, it began with two brave souls who ignored their screen-time warnings.”
- Future Forecast: “In five years, they’ll still argue about the thermostat but agree on everything that matters.”
Officiant Lines That Actually Land
The officiant steers the vibe. Give them lines that feel natural and not try-hard.
- Opening chuckle: “If anyone here objects, please know we prepared a playlist and we will simply turn up the volume.”
- Transition: “Now we move from ‘dating app success story’ to ‘tax benefits enthusiasts.’”
- Reflection: “Love looks like the everyday stuff—doing dishes, saving the last bite, remembering how they take their coffee.”
How to Coach Your Officiant
- Tell them your humor level: sweet and witty vs. borderline roast.
- Give them 3–5 stories or bullet points you love.
- Ask for a run-through to nail timing.
Comedy is rhythm, not luck.
Short, Funny Readings That Don’t Drag
Skip the 10-minute monologue. Two minutes tops, and tie it back to your relationship.
- Option A: A poem you found on a coffee shop wall or a line from your favorite show. “I love you like Leslie loves waffles.”
- Option B: A snappy original: “Love is choosing the same person on your best days and your ‘I put the milk in the cupboard’ days.”
- Option C: A friend’s 6-sentence story about you that ends with a punchline and a sigh.
Keep It Moving: Structure That Flows
A funny ceremony works best when it’s tight and tidy. Here’s a simple run-of-show that nails pacing:
- Welcome and quick laugh
- How we met (90 seconds)
- One short reading
- Vows
- Rings and kiss cue
- Pronouncement and exit
Timing sweet spot: 12–18 minutes.
Enough to matter, not enough to make anyone check their watch.
Sample Pronouncement
“By the power vested in me by the State of [Your State] and the internet forms I filled out, I now pronounce you married. Go be each other’s favorite person.”
FAQ
How funny is too funny for a wedding ceremony?
Aim for humor that feels warm and inclusive, not roast-y or inside-jokey to the point of excluding 80% of your guests. If a joke punches down or needs a 3-paragraph backstory, skip it.
IMO, one laugh every minute or two keeps energy high without derailing the feels.
Can we do funny vows and still make people cry?
Absolutely. Pair one joke with one hyper-specific promise and one heartfelt line. That combo hits both sides of the heart.
Think: “I promise to hold your hand through the weird stuff. You’re my home.”
What if our families are traditional?
Blend classic structure with modern lines. Keep the ring exchange and pronouncement, but freshen the language.
Use humor sparingly in the welcome and vows, then bring the sentiment forward in the readings. Everyone wins.
Do we need an officiant who’s naturally funny?
Nope. You need an officiant who can read the room and deliver cleanly.
Write the lines for them, keep sentences short, and do one practice run. Confidence beats comedy chops every time.
How do we avoid cringey jokes?
Test lines on a friend who tells the truth. Avoid inside jokes that only three people get, anything mean-spirited, or romance-killing references.
If it makes you nervous to hear it out loud, it’s a no.
Can we include our pet without chaos?
Yes—give them one job, like ring delivery with a handler, and rehearse it. Add a single line acknowledging their star turn and move on. Cute moment, zero meltdown.
Wrap It Up: Funny, But Still Forever
Your ceremony should sound like the two of you on your best day—honest, light, and a little mischievous.
Pick a few jokes, keep the pacing tight, and ground it in real promises. FYI, the laughter makes the emotion land harder. And when you walk back down that aisle?
Big grins, big cheers, zero regrets.